HELP!!! I HAVE A RACCOON IN MY CEILING!!!

Terry Cloth · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:49 pm

You read that right.... I HAVE A RACCOON IN MY CEILING, and it's trying to get in where the ceiling is damaged.
I read online that loud music will drive them away, so I'm asking any of you, WHAT SHOULD I PLAY!? I was thinking of perhaps that those percussion "outtakes" on the "you-know-what" of FIRST KNIGHT might work, but perhaps y'all have a better idea. The idea is to make the environment unpleasant for the raccoon and it will leave. I don't mind telling you that I am scared to death! PLEASE HELP!!!

Larry Deutchman · **Joined:** Mon Sep 11, 2006 9:53 am **Posts:** 219

Your dilemma reminded me of a joke that is rather appropriate with the Jewish High Holidays coming up...

A small town had three shuls -- Orthodox, Conservative and Reform. All three had a serious problem with squirrels in their buildings. Each congregation, in its own fashion, had a meeting to deal with the problem.

The Orthodox decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the shul and that they would just have to live with them.

The Conservative decided they should deal with the squirrels in the movement's style of Community Responsibility and Social Action. They humanely trapped them and released them in a park at the edge of town. Within three days, they were all back in the synagogue.

The Reform had several lengthy meetings, including those in which all members voiced opinions. Finally they decided to vote the squirrels in as members of the Temple.

Now they only see them on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

WorkingWithKnives · **Posted:** Tue Sep 07, 2010 6:02 pm

I like racoons. Just the other night as I sat outside late, I heard strange noises. I jumped and said "Who is that?" Thought it was my brother playing a joke. It was a pair of baby raccoons playing and raising hell. Day or two later one of them walked up close. I tossed him a piece of bread and he scurried up the tree with it and snacked out.

As for getting the little rascal out of your ceiling. There are live catch cages for the job. Trap him and let him loose in the woods.

As the seasons change they will often seek shelter in the eaves of houses.

Also, raccoons are nocturnal animals, the little rascal will leave to make his rounds at night. A good time to board up the entrance it has found into your home which is often an air vent or attic window.

John Takis · **Joined:** Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:42 pm **Posts:** 181

If only "Raccoon Chasing" from HEARTBEEPS wasn't so darned pleasant!

A cursory web-search turned up this:

http://www.acmehowto.com/howto/pest/raccoons.php

They recommend talk-radio.

This fellow (a professional) recommends you call a professional. He obviously has a vested interest, but you may be swayed by some of his points:

http://www.aaanimalcontrol.com/professi ... t-rid.html

BSG · **Joined:** Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:18 am **Posts:** 110

you can try the the following checklist (chez moi it works):

1st attempt: Rocky IV (my mum adapts herself but feels uncomfortable)
2nd: Robocop (my mum starts grumbling and whining)
3rd: the Exorcist (my mum can't stand it and run away)

CocoNut Joe · **Posted:** Wed Sep 08, 2010 4:25 am

First...Buy a shotgun, then put on Harry Manfredinis Friday the 13th, volume up the 10.
Run outside...kaboom you got to listen to a great score while also getting dinner... :mrgreen:

Sorry I couldn´t resist, but hope that you get rid of that racoon soon...
Maybee Psycho (The Murder) by Bernard Herrmann could solve the problem??

davidinberkeley · **Posted:** Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:49 pm

I suggest playing the dvd of EL CID with its spooky Moor battle percussion.

davidinberkeley · **Posted:** Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:51 pm

JoshuaKelhoffer · **Posted:** Wed Sep 08, 2010 1:58 pm

Play the DVD variation (seasons 3 thru 11) of the Married With Children theme. It will then proceed to find many ways to kill itself, therefore eradicating your raccoon problem.

Terry Cloth · **Posted:** Wed Sep 08, 2010 4:50 pm

It's been scientifically proven that raccoons are extremely intelligent. It just figures that the ONE RETARD RACCOON in my city got into my apartment ceiling and couldn't get out, because it apparently died, and is now rotting SOMEWHERE. I don't know WHERE, but I can sure SMELL IT. Thanks to all of you who offered the suggestions.

WorkingWithKnives · **Posted:** Wed Sep 08, 2010 8:47 pm

Terry Cloth · **Posted:** Wed Sep 08, 2010 9:37 pm

"Oh, dear. The word around my parts is that serving food to these guys is NOT a good idea. They lose their fear of people and start harassing humans for food, and attacking dogs on leashes."

Hell... just two weeks ago, I had one pull a KNIFE on me, and made off with my wallet! :mrgreen:

I guess I know now why mother nature bestowed the little shits with masks! :oops:

BTW... are we allowed to say "shit" on this board? If not, I'll delete it.

Terry Cloth · **Posted:** Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:55 pm

The damned thing is BACK!!!! Instead of filmmusic, I'm trying some creepy electronic music. I SWEAR... I'm living in HOOTERSVILLE! :evil:

WorkingWithKnives · **Posted:** Fri Oct 01, 2010 12:27 pm

A guy from an extermination company set two racoon trap cages outside a few feet from where I'm sitting. A few nights ago one of my little buddies, tempted by the marsmallow bait was trapped inside. I opened the door of the cage and set him free. He sat in the corner watching as I unhooked the latches, a few minutes later he was on his way leaving me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

The hicks around here, instead of setting the 'coons loose in the woods, kill them by submerging the cages in water. Not when I'm around to keep it from happening. Every night, my brother or I shut the doors of the traps and each morning reset them. The dumb fuck who checks the cages doesn't have a clue. :lol:

Terry Cloth · **Posted:** Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:58 pm

Well...I borrowed a friend's animal trap, and WAS going to try to trap it, and drive it out into the country, release it, give it a few dollars to get a meal, and send it on it's way. I THEN remembered that there's also a SKUNK lurking around this area, and knowing my luck, I would trap IT instead, and THEN I would be screwed!
Then I had an idea... I have a CD that I got as a freebie back when CDs were new. It's a demo disc, extolling the dynamic range of the then new format. On this disc is different genres of music, but it also has sounds - both natural and man-made - on it. ONE of those sounds is that of a JACK HAMMER! Tonight, before I left to get dinner, I put it in the player, selected the jack hammer track, put it on endless repeat, turned it on, cranked it up, and got the hell out of here! I was gone about 40 minutes.
We shall see.....(The woman I talked to at the humane society today said that the jack hammer idea was "brilliant"!).

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HELP!!! I HAVE A RACCOON IN MY CEILING!!!

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